@OfficeofSteve: Can you write off a divorce as a home improvement expense
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@novicefather: Autocorrect changed "killing spree" to "killing soirée" so bring your finest evening attire because murder can be classy.
@onascaleof1210: To the person crowding me in the checkout line, do you want a hug .. 'cause if you get any closer, I'm gonna assume you do and give you one.
@Jamie1947: Things I Suck At: 1. straws, ha ha jk lol 2. Parallel parking, no seriously, I'm really terrible at this 3. straws, haha same joke as before
@HeyZeus666: Answer : Mrs.Claus Question : Who was the only person in history that was unhappy when Santa came early?