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Because I love being cold 95% of my life.
@WilliamRodgers: "Your mission... Should you chose to accept it..."
*Go to a bar you Hate
*Put $50 in the Jukebox
*Play nothing but Nickelback
@Discourt: Just told my toddler to eat 5 bites of her dinner, to which she replied I was horrible. So I counted the number 3 twice. Biotch.
@ramenfuneral: when i was a kid, i thought getting arrested for shoplifting meant getting in trouble for trying to carry a store like popeye or something
@o__0Dev: I've finally figured out why I can’t lose this extra weight. The shampoo I use in shower that runs down my body says, “4 extra volume & body
@murrman5: *holding your xray up to the light and looking at it*
when did you first notice your back hurting?
"after the knife went in"