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@Baeflix: Canada's weather be like
@themorris23: Donald Trump always looks like he's just opened a really hot oven.
@RoosterMustache: "Where'd my boomerang go?"
Hahaha I just made you say "underwear"
*boomerang hits me in the back of the head*
@BDGarp: I handle stress the way cats bathe in water.
@JohnFugelsang: There are only 2 things Donald Trump fears: 1) The world discovers he's been lying about being a billionaire, and 2) a strong wind.
@EndhooS: *Wife walks in, the house is trashed*
"OMG..we've been burgled"
*I jump out of the closet in full hockey gear*
HAVE YOU SEEN THE WASP KAREN?