@BaldyLockzz: Canadian whiskey is just whiskey that apologizes for your hangover in the morning
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@XplodingUnicorn: My 5-year-old refused to eat her dinner because Netflix was running slow. At least she picked a worthy cause for her hunger strike.
@Donnie_Fairburn: "Umm, what are you doing? Can you not? Seriously, get off me!" - The first horse ever ridden (probably)
@XplodingUnicorn: [5-year-old and 3-year-old scream at each other] Me: Is that how your mom and I settle arguments? 5: You want me to sleep on the couch?
@bombsydoll: Yeah, I've got that Sexy Librarian thing going on. Except I'm not sexy. Or a librarian. I would like you to keep it down though.