@MacAnnabella: Canadians are not always nice, especially if your son pisses on their snowman.
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@AimeeHelene1: CW: Aimee, could I get your signature on this agreement? Me: *pauses* (with Cheeto stained lips) *kisses paper* CW: Me: That's my signature.
@Playing_Dad: If I had a time machine, I would go back to the day we first let my daughter watch SpongeBob SquarePants and just destroy our TV
@gidget_76: My cat and I have lots in common like how we both cry when we're hungry and both put our ass in the air when it's being rubbed.
@T_Bonezzz_: We decided to name our unborn child something that represents where it was conceived. Only 7 more months until baby Uber is born!