@TheBoydP: Canadians leaving south for vacation are like Americans escaping marriage, desperately trying to escape frigid temperatures...
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@lmwortho: I think if a trained monkey could drive a car, cook & give out money, my kids wouldn't notice it wasn't me. I need a monkey.
@AbbyHasIssues: (Grabs store intercom) Would whoever dropped the list with “pizza” and “wine” on it in the cart come to the front? We need to be friends.
@EnvysDeadNana: I'm not above apologizing for my drunken behavior I'm just sick of repeating myself