@bigmacher: Candy canes are the perfect treat. They are minty & put you into the holiday spirit & can easily be fashioned into a shank.
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@harrows_: God said, "Thou shall not kill" And then he wiped out the entire human race with a global flood just because people didn't take it seriously
@ojedge: [train] MAN EATING NUTS: "Want one?" [offers bag] MAN IN TRENCHCOAT: "May I have… seven?" [coat rustles excitedly]
@peetiesays: Diamond engagement rings are so last year. Ask for her hand in marriage by presenting her with a full tank of gas.
@Darlainky: I got paprika once in 2002 to make deviled eggs and apparently I bought a lifetime supply.