@ClaytonSykes: Candy Crushers keep inboxing me saying that they need "lives" as if I didn't already know that.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TeaAndCopy: Punctuality is important. It's the difference between helping your uncle jack off a horse and arriving late to find he's already done it.
@TitansHomer: Him: Can you believe what's going on in Egypt? Me: Yeah...it's crazy...I gotta go. Bye. Me: *googles what's happening in Egypt?*
@yaboydil: Some say global warming is caused by an increase in greenhouse gases, but I know that's a cover up for the truth: too many hot local singles
@Gre_Gone: [Ad shows dude getting out of bed before noon on the weekend] *professional stuntman do not attempt*