@ClaytonSykes: Candy Crushers keep inboxing me saying that they need "lives" as if I didn't already know that.
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@OutOnTheMoors: When I was 20, a stranger ran up to me in the street and said we should get a divorce. That set the tone of weirdness for my adult life.
@SuperDuperDook: The last 60+ Miss Universe pageant winners have been from earth I don't know man, seems fixed.
@hythemafia: Man goes to a Doctor. "Every time I attempt to pass water it hurts" "Does it burn?" "I don't know, I've never tried to set fire to it"
@DirtyySouthMess: I always thought I was attracted to men but this chick eating a Snickers on the elliptical has me questioning things.