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@BatmanOffDuty: *buying a dog* Is this a good dog? "Oh yeah, very good dog." Do any tricks? "No, I'm clean, selling dogs now."
@t0shiba: I accidentally took a woman's multi-vitamin this morning. I have been trying to get dressed now for 2 hours but everything makes me look fat
@iGreenMonk: Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Me: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
@Steelers1972: You know you are getting old when you have to scroll down, scroll down, and scroll down some more, to select the year you were born.