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@brettminor: It is crazy easy to buy a birthday cake. Even if it is no one's birthday. They don't even check.
@ShutUpThatsWho: [opening can of Russian Pringles] once u pop u [inside can is a slightly smaller can] huh [inside that can is an even smaller can] wtf [in..
@qwertying: Like a true gentlemen, I always put women and children first. I hate walking into spiderwebs...
@iwearaonesie: *helps wife get toddler in his high chair* wife: That's a new shirt, let's put a bib on you me [wearing a bib] This is ridiculous