@aedison: Can't believe I'm still writing "-oslovakian" on all my Czechs.
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@codyspencer0: The guy who invented folding chairs lovingly cares for his product which is a problem for his wife who has season tickets to pro wrestling
@WetzelGeek: Son, there's no need for a paternity test. I knew you were mine when you came prematurely.
@rachxthompson: me: could my thighs get any bigger? *sits down* me: oh look now they're the size of Australia