@robdelaney: Can't believe I've already spent $500 on mayonnaise this year.
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@schumoo: Like Grandma used to say, if it seems too good to be true buy as much of that shit as you can. Grandma drank a lot. We miss her.
@slaughthie: I got called "vein" and I'm just like, k not the most vital component of the circulatory system but still essential so thank you
@theDanLawler: Roses are red, except for all of the other colors of roses that have been in existence for thousands of years. Those are different colors.
@_davidlucas_: The best part of Halloween is all the Jehovah's Witnesses wondering why they're being given candy.