@robdelaney: Can't believe I've already spent $500 on mayonnaise this year.
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@batkaren: *Magneto flapping his wrist frantically, trying to shake loose a fork stuck to his hand*
@ShortSleeveSuit: [watching The Silence of the Lambs] Me: Hear that? Her: No Me [trying to impress her, leaning in close]: That’s the lambs
@noog: At the young age of 5, a bear told me that I am the only person who can prevent forest fires. Why I was chosen, I'll never know.