@michaeldyllan: Can't believe New Zealand are introducing a new flag just as I finished memorising the old one.
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@pmclellan: The most important aspect of opening a Chinese restaurant is hiring a good chicken to fry the rice.
@iLikeCatShirts: Star Wars is just like regular wars except you fall in love with your sister and your dad chops your arm off.
@PaperWash: People without kids: I'll never yell at my kids People with kids: I DONT KNOW WHY SOMEONE SPIT THEIR GUM ON THE ROAD JUST WALK!