@michaeldyllan: Can't believe New Zealand are introducing a new flag just as I finished memorising the old one.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DanMentos: [at funeral] "it was so sudden" really? "yeah right in the middle of rap battle" I thought you said he died of dysentery TERRY: That's right
@autocorrects: Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together, Hermoine went alone and got attacked by a troll.
@MrJeberling: Once while eating bacon I said I was "getting piggy with it" and now I have no friends.
@tastefactory: COP:Do u know how fast u were going ME: The posted speed limit, 495 COP: Sir that's the route number, i don't even know how I caught up to u