@michaeldyllan: Can't believe New Zealand are introducing a new flag just as I finished memorising the old one.
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@TheBigBatman: Last year for Christmas I got a sweater, this year I am hoping for a screamer or a moaner.
@just1fool: To convert Celsius to Fahrenheit to double Celsius and add thirty. To convert someone to Mormonism you double the wives and add 17 kids.
@jonnysun: ME: did it hurt GIRL AT BAR: did wat hurt ME: when ur hopes of having a nice uninterupted night out got crushed bc i started talking to u
@WigCannon: how to hot dogs: 1) "read" hot dogs instructions 2) place 5 to 60 hot dogs in warm microwave or sink 3) add 1 piece of ketchup 4( drink