@foursquids: Can't believe people still say "pot" it's not the 70s anymore we call it "saucepan" now
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@KamaroPayne: Do you ever take a bunch of pills, forget that you took a bunch of pills, take a bunch more pills, and then die? I know. Me TOO.
@murrman5: [commenting under wife’s facebook status where she thanks everyone for coming to our son’s bday party] do we have any mustard?
@Molly_Kats: A Victoria's Secret commercial will always come on when you're elbow deep in a bag of Doritos.