@Underchilde: Can’t believe tomorrow is Take Your Alcohol to Work Day.
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@TweetsByTheTony: Hey, girl. I noticed you checking out my Hello Kitty socks. Just so you know...the boxers match. *winks*
@aspiringtoucan: ME: whats our policy on dogs in the office BOSS: no dogs ME: [about to hand over my dog's resume but I pull it back just in time] haha duh
@bourgeoisalien: Hey, Christianity- what's all the fuss about a virgin anyway? I could be a virgin if I wanted to. But I don't. Because sex. Also? More sex.