@joshcomers: Can't find my belt so I'll just need to get fatter.
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@onion_an: [looking up at bird sitting in a tree whilst on 1st date] "I didn't know birds could climb trees"
@Kyle_Lippert: If you put your face really close to a neck tattoo & slowly pull away, you can see a hidden design of the unemployment office.
@MdUNH: If you see a white guy in earbuds convulsing angrily with T. Rex arms, don't freak out. I'm just jamming out to Eminem.
@AsYouNotWish: Proud to announce that I’m still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don’t know we’re racing.