@hmmmmmnope: Can't find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
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@tigersgoroooar: Boy becomes Jedi, gets married, turns evil, has twins, becomes Darth Vader, complicated crap, ewoks. Boom, STAR WARS. You're welcome, girls.
@stephenjmolloy: Commissioner Gordon: It says here that bats sleep upside down and wee over themselves. Batman: We also poop. CG: We? B: They. I mean they
@Shelts99: Neighbour:How's the wife? Me:Glowing Neighbour:Pregnant? Me:No, she's on fire, just going for more wood Neighbour:You're sick Me:You're next
@stockejock: Pretty much the most frightening part of my day is when I get a notification that my mother has tagged me in a post on Facebook.