@hmmmmmnope: Can't find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
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@NicestHippo: In my day cartoons made sense. Chipmunks did all the rescue rangering and a rich duck swam in gold coins like they were water
@aaroncoal: I always keep gluten next to my bed in case a hipster breaks into my house in the middle of the night.
@KevinFarzad: People are often shocked when I tell them I'm single because I scream it at them while sliding open their shower curtain.