@hmmmmmnope: Can't find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
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@ibid78: 🎶 And I would walk 500 ft. and I would walk 500 more/ Just to be the man who stayed 1000 ft away as ordered by the court 🎶
@MomoVonTrite: Today is my mom's birthday or as she calls it, Cinco de Seis, because someone taught her just enough Spanish to be annoying.
@realHamOnWry: The harder you slam the door walking out on an argument ...the more likely you have to go back inside for your car keys.
@toastymoe: Some people should be forced to carry a plant around with them, to replace the oxygen they waste.