@hunz74: Can't quit smoking? Wear mittens all the time.
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@DaddyJew: Girl: do you have a condom? Me: c'mon what's the worst that could happen *hears a knock on the door 4: daddy I think I started a fire
@DaddyJew: I haven't talked to a single member of my family since the great monopoly battle of '06. So yea, I know a thing or 2 about holding a grudge.
@brendohare: The doctors all doubted me. They all thought I couldn't do it. They said I couldn't fight them all at once and well, they were 100% right