@garrettbarry70: Can't sleep knowing there's a Toblerone in the mini bar.
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@Book_Krazy: Boss: You're late! On Friday, I made it clear that anyone arriving late would be fired Me: Well I didn't know! I ducked out early on Friday
@iGreenMonk: There is a new app. that tells you how smarter your dog is. Here's how it works :- If you bought the app. your dog is smarter than you.
@RandomBest: "I got this." Translated: I most certainly do not have this, but prepare to be thoroughly entertained.
@cray_at_home_ma: In case you're considering having kids, I've been awake since sunrise trying to fulfill breakfast requests of: 1. Pancakes 2. Pizza 3. Green