@galiamango: Can't speak for all women but generally I'll just keep nagging until you agree with me, sometimes even after that. You know, for sport.
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@Chumpstring: Attention Prayer Warriors: My neighbor left town for a funeral today. Please pray for God to protect & guide me as I steal his barbecue pit.
@ManicMouse: CW: what did you do to your hair today? Me: It's really unclear whether you think it's good or you think I slept in a ditch.
@BuckyIsotope: “Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there,” we chant. Another agent appears inside the pentagram and screams. The dark lord feasts tonight.
@capnwatsisname: So: a needle pulling thread Thread: a way to stack your tweets Tweet: the thing I did instead When they honked at me to go