@RobinMcCauley: Can't stop thinking about really disturbing things today, like what if they had called him Illinois Jones.
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@kelkulus: For Earth Day, turn on your air conditioner and open your doors and windows. If we all work together, we can totally cool this planet.
@robfee: Lois Lane unexpectedly comes to visit Clark Kent but he can't find his glasses so he has to stick his face in a pie like Mrs. Doubtfire.
@Brampersandon_: [meeting a girl at the bar] ME (nervously cracking every knuckle): hi I'm brandon GIRL: please let go of my hands
@GrillinChillin9: Whoever the first person was to throw shit in to a fan must have had a lot of explaining to do afterwards.