@ieatanddrink: Can't tell if they're hitting on me here?
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@Adam14: When people say "Let's not get off on the wrong foot here", I reply "Please don't get off on either of my feet".
@MamaFlores: 5yo slooowly walks by: "Hi, mom and dad." 4yo slooowly walks by: "Hi, mom and dad." CODE RED CODE RED
@Marlebean: Kid: What's this? Me: A napkin holder K: What's a napkin? M: You wipe your hands on it when they're dirty K: You mean like the couch? M: ...