@ieatanddrink: Can't tell if they're hitting on me here?
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@hippieswordfish: spot whats sandpaper like? dog: ruff whats the long grass on a golf course called? d: ruff whats the job market like? d: steadily improving
@rocknthepurple: I don't know why so many people blame their air conditioning for their inability to spell.
@envydatropic: My greatest fear is that I'll be reported as a missing person and my family guesstimates my weight way higher than what I actually weigh
@oakhillbargrill: Wife: Did you pay the mortgage yet? Me: Do you think surfers in India are called Hindudes? Wife: What? Me: What? Communication is hard