@ieatanddrink: Can't tell if they're hitting on me here?
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@Dawn_M_: I wrote "except zombies" on my welcome mat so I know I'll be safe during a zombie apocalypse.
@sbellelauren: i know how hard it must have been for my parents to tell me there was no santa because i just had to tell my parents there's no jesus
@NicestHippo: Piracy dates back to the 14th century, when armed criminals boarded ships and viciously watched movies that weren't out yet