@MarcusTheToken: Can't trust anyone that refuses to admitnThey are wrong. nnSidenote: I do have a place to hide their bodies.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: Why does mom always yell at you? Me: Marriage is complicated. 4: Is it because you’re stupid?
@londonlass666: This ATM has just charged me £2 for a transaction but told me to cover my PIN to prevent from being robbed. Pretty ironic if you ask me.
@furbyburglar: I never scrape my back window so when I back out of parking spots I let Jesus decide if I'm gonna kill anyone