@MarcusTheToken: Can't trust anyone that refuses to admitnThey are wrong. nnSidenote: I do have a place to hide their bodies.
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@Jake_Vig: HER: [walks in wearing lingerie] See anything you like? ME: I don’t think that will fit me.
@Playing_Dad: [Batman villain naming meeting] Ok, name the guy who asks all the riddles. "The Riddler?" GENIUS! OK, how about the woman dressed as a cat?
@slackmistress: Everyone SAYS they want a fairytale wedding but when I show up and curse their firstborn suddenly I'm the jerk.
@causticbob: If you're using public transport never give up your seat to an old lady... That's how I lost my job as a bus driver.