@MarcusTheToken: Can't trust anyone that refuses to admitnThey are wrong. nnSidenote: I do have a place to hide their bodies.
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@gabeserra: Power's been out for 40 minutes and the kids are asking why I haven't put new batteries in the house yet...
@KeetPotato: reporter: "what inspired your theory of gravity" isaac newton: "i fell off the toil-" agent: [leans into mic] "an apple hit him on the head"
@StellaRtwot: Why do other moms at the playground get all snotty if you ask their husband to push you when you're on a swing?