@kennyflorian: Can't trust CNN? Next thing ya know Nigerian royalty sending me emails will be fake.
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@WilliamRodgers: Is "drunk" an emotion? Because if it is, I am feeling SUPER emotional right now....
@3sunzzz: [Bob Dylan giving singing lessons] I'd like you to sing it again, but this time plug your nose and put these 5 marbles in your mouth.
@squirrel74wkgn: All these gifts today better get me laid. Wife (in a narrator's voice): ...but, then she overheard him talking...and he never did get laid.