@OhNoSheTwitnt: Can’t wait for Game of Thrones to come back because I miss civilized political discourse.
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@wolfpupy: "i wouldnt be caught dead" someone throws a net over my dead corpse "gotcha!!" "noooo"
@dumbbeezie: I startled my dog as she was peeing on a mailbox so now the dog she was leaving a message for is only gonna get half of it
@Holy_Mowgli: restaurant owner: you start on monday me: I can't wait restaurant owner: I don't think this will work out then
@Playing_Dad: 6am. 4 runs into bedroom, jumps on bed repeatedly. "DADDY, DADDY, DADDY! WAKE UP! HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! WE'RE GOING TO LET YOU SLEEP IN!