@ReneeHooray: Can't wait for it to get dark earlier so I can pick my nose in traffic.
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@iRowlf: Prank Idea: Toss some red laundry in the ocean and turn the great white sharks into the great pink sharks.
@ShortSleeveSuit: Interviewer: Strengths? Me: Punctuality Interviewer: Weaknesses? Me [alarm clock sounds & I snort cocaine off of a knife blade]: NONE
@Sickayduh: MOM: You give that back to him, mister ME: Ok mom MOM: and what do we say now? ME: *climbing off unicycle* sorry I tried to steal your girl