@omgthatspunny: Can't wait to get my first kiss this Christmas under the missile toe 😘😂
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@AmishPornStar1: I don't know why I would want to "Keep Up" with them... I don't even know where Kardashia is. (geography's not my strong suit)
@SaraMansford: Pro tip: If you forget their name after a one night stand, just take them to Starbucks in the morning.
@marinhubka: I moved to LA 9 months ago and I've just been circling around this whole time looking for a parking spot.
@Brampersandon_: PAPA JOHNS EMPLOYEE: what can I get you ME: I'll take a large *forgetting the word pizza* cheese frisbee