@jwoodham: Can't wait to say "I haven't seen you since last year!" to everyone I see next week. I'm a very popular person with thousands of friends.
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@IntergalacticQ: Ever since I found out cats don't meow to other cats, that's just some shit they learned to manipulate humans and moews are supposed to mimic infant human cries I'm noticing a lot of fake shit about my cat
@haleysfalling: so people are okay with batman wearing a cape but when i do it i "need to put my hospital gown on the right way"
@Darlainky: I FREAKING SWEAR!! IF I HAVE TO TELL YOU ONE MORE TIME WHAT AN EASY-GOING, PATIENT, AND CHILL PERSON I AM, I'M GONNA LOSE IT!!!!
@Ygrene: [being buttered] Me: are you sure about this Murderer: [stops buttering] you know what I brought the wrong knife