@GibJimson: Capri Sun taught me how to stab with accuracy.
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@I_Bl33d_Purple: I'm trying to be more fit these days, so now I walk inside the store to buy my donuts instead of using the drive-thru.
@KimmyMonte: HEY TWITTER IF I WANTED 10,000 CHARACTERS THAT I WASN'T INTERESTED IN I WOULD START WATCHING GAME OF THRONES
@omerwahaj: I remember the exact moment growing up when I came to know that a babysitter was not someone who sat on babies.
@jergarl: Me: *breaks down door Wife: WTF ARE YOU DOING? M: HOME INVASION! W: OMG stop breaking our house when you want sex. M: Soooooo W: No