@GibJimson: Capri Sun taught me how to stab with accuracy.
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@Dani_Feld: Relationship status: I shout "PIZZA'S HERE" so the delivery guy doesn't think I'm eating two pizzas by myself.
@AaronFullerton: "Welcome to 9-1-1, Florida. If you're calling about a matter related to George Zimmerman, please press 2. Otherwise, stay on the line..."
@SadPeruna: If by 'the Hamptons' you mean 'my pajamas', then yes, I absolutely weekend in the Hamptons.
@rynbtmn: None of the scenarios in which I would require a watch that works 200m underwater are situations in which my watch would be my main concern.