@GibJimson: Capri Sun taught me how to stab with accuracy.
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@lolajxx: Personal Trainer- So how have you been cutting your carbs? Me-Mostly with a bread knife or a pizza slicer
@TheBosha: Israel is like STOP TOUCHING ME and Palestine is like YOU'RE TOUCHING ME and Hillary is like I WILL PULL THIS CAR OVER.
@Proxic0n: [Date] Me: So what goes in the bowl first, milk or cereal? Her: Trick question, I eat pizza for breakfast. *We just start making out*