@GibJimson: Capri Sun taught me how to stab with accuracy.
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@iamspacegirl: SANTA: Mhm, and I see here that you have the power of flight, which wo- SUPERMAN W/ ANTLERS TIED TO HIS HEAD: Look, I really need this job.
@TheRobCee: Michael Cera, in a public restroom, pinned to the opposite wall by the force of the hand-dryer.
@jlock17: I've stopped texting "K" and started texting "L" instead so I don't have to reach so far over with my thumb.