@briangaar: [Captain America, minutes after the love of his life's funeral] Damn her niece is hot
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@CornOnTheGoblin: °at Nike advertising meeting° I need a slogan for these shoes by the end of the day. I don't care how it gets done just do it..hold up a sec
@rolldiggity: 1. Sit in stall of a crowded bathroom. 2. Whisper, "Oh no, not again..." 3. Slowly pour a large bucket of milk onto the floor.
@EJGomez: sucks to be a bad guy in the teenage mutant ninja turtle world like "who stopped u" "turtles" "huh" "no they were like faster than normal"