@CandyCrisis: Captain Hook hated Paper Scissors Rock since he could only play Question Mark, which had no value in the game.
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@LindaInDisguise: The difference between your husband and your Netflix account is, over time, your Netflix account learns what you like.
@ThaJawn: *puts a gun against a magician's back Me and you are going to get all the quarters, from behind all the ears
@david8hughes: Cop: we know you're in there. Me in a French accent: I am not ere, I am in France. Cop: when will you be back? Me: je ne comprends pas
@Marlebean: I like to impress a first date by pulling never ending toilet paper out of my bra like a magician. What's a second date like?