@vonTraphaus: Captain Planet (1991) - a gang of illegal immigrant Eco-terrorists summon a demon to terrorise job creators
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@mrkoodge: *at an AA meeting* "Hi, I'm Andy and I have a drinking problem. I have 2 hands and only 1 mouth. Lol." *gets aggressively escorted out*
@ericacanrant: If you say I'm getting fat again Aunt Betty, I'll make a "anything for 5 dollars" ad on Craigslist with your name and number.
@JohnLyonTweets: [first date] Her: I broke up with my last boyfriend because he was so intense, I felt smothered. Me: [trying to impress]: I haven’t even bothered to learn your name.
@PaulGibson1963: Emails from your boss assigning you work do not qualify as cyber bullying. I checked.