@AngelaLovesNY: Cardinals are fornicating on my porch again! The birds...not the religious robey dudes.
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@Ivsy01: (Writing in food journal) me: for lunch I had sa......... trainer: (interrupting) salad. awesome. me: sake.
@JermHimselfish: When a Honda Element crashes into another Honda Element it becomes a Honda Compound.
@lonewulf87: Son: Dad, what does 'gay' means? Father: It means 'to be happy'. Son: Are you gay? Father: No, son. I have a wife.