@AngelaLovesNY: Cardinals are fornicating on my porch again! The birds...not the religious robey dudes.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@larasjeansong: parents: you were such a smart kid what happened??!? me: your child died and was replaced by a lookalike; a conspiracy theory thread
@jwoodham: It's oddly fitting that most Americans celebrate Presidents' Day by taking the day off and not doing the job they were hired to do.
@StevieKnip: PSA: If you're about to be arrested, climb to the roof of a nearby court. You are now 'above the law' & literally can't get in trouble ever
@angibangie: 4yo: let me smell your eyelashes! Me:...ok 4yo:smells like spiders. What if they eat your face? Me: this is how nightmares are born.