@AngelaLovesNY: Cardinals are fornicating on my porch again! The birds...not the religious robey dudes.
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@KyleMcDowell86: My mom told me not to cry wolf, but it was too late.Wolves were pouring out of my tear ducts, filling the kitchen and adjoining living room.
@ninatreemonkey: Equally cool alternatives to air guitar: Air slap bass Air harmonica Silent pig auctions Balloons hitting people The letter Q
@WilliamAder: Don't ask me if I have a safety pin if you're going to look at me all weird when I pull one out of my pocket and hand it to you.
@leechee420: Listen google, it's 2015. I need you to figure out who I'm talking about when I type "that one guy in that movie I didn't like."