@Elizasoul80: Cargo pants are for when you want to wear khakis, but also want to be a backpack.
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@ClickBaite: I always carry a pocket of spare bolts at the carnival and hand two or three to the person taking the seat after me. "I found these. Weird?"
@pstamato: [7:30pm] Tonight I'll actually go to bed on time and get sleep! [2:30am] the most money ever paid for a cow at an auction was $1.3 million
@junkyardigan: I opened a bottle of wine to let it breathe. It didn't. So I gave it mouth to mouth.
@adamlucidi: All my exes are engaged, married, and/or have kids. I'm single. As far as I'm concerned, I've won.