@Elizasoul80: Cargo pants are for when you want to wear khakis, but also want to be a backpack.
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@aksorojas: fiancé: *marvels at the beauty of the Eiffel Tower* me: will you do me the greatest honor of *looks at smudged writing on hand* murdering me
@Social_Mime: *calls restaurant* Me: Hi is your place a kid friendly restaurant? Host: Of course it is sir *hangs up*
@torrami: Doughnut boxes advertise "ZERO TRANS FAT" as if anyone buying a box of doughnuts cares about the nutritional content.