@Elizasoul80: Cargo pants are for when you want to wear khakis, but also want to be a backpack.
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@robdelaney: Woman at drive-thru just called me "honey." Headed home to tell my wife to take a god damn hike.
@dreamthievin: Greeting card [cover] Sorry to hear about your Alzheimer's [inside] Sorry to hear about your Alzheimer's
@DudeImShawn: Live today like it's your last. Pay your bills and wear a condom just in case it isn't.