@krisv_723: Carol learned a hard lesson the day she forgot the word berry when googling blueberry waffle recipes.
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@TheDailySchmuck: Him: It should be illegal for white people to wear dreads. Me: Are you Italian, my brother? Him: No. Me: Then no more pizza for you.
@tuckerflodman: [1st date] -I'm a fish whisperer. Wow, what does that mean? -*whispers* Fish. Oh... Haha um what do you- -*whispers right in her ear* Fish.
@The_MartiniGirl: I love when people tell me to get my act together and I'm like who the hell is acting geez.