@shawnries: Cars should have a thing where if you drive around with your blinker on for too long, they explode.
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@samfromks: My wife and I have been dieting together for a week so it'd probably be safer for me to come home smelling like perfume than a Snickers bar.
@Gooooats: Me on the Phone: I'm going to "work" from home today. My Boss: I heard those air quotes.
@Jenny4ashley: Drop a ring pop in front of him. If he picks it up and hands it back to you... Congratulations! You're engaged.