@shawnries: Cars should have a thing where if you drive around with your blinker on for too long, they explode.
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@Jam453Lane: When someone uses the bathroom and asks about the wine cork floating in the toilet is why I don't invite people to my house.
@TheTweetOfGod: When Adam and Eve ate the apple I remember thinking, "Well, that's a sin, but at least it's original."
@StellaRtwot: Sometimes the last thing people hear before they're murdered is the sound of their pen that they won't stop clicking.
@Violent2Dope304: Hamburger Helper only works if the hamburger is ready to accept that it needs help.