@Doh573: Cartoons lied to me as a child. I was lead to believe quicksand was going to be a much larger problem in life.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JPHaddadio: When I am president, it will be legal to grab the waists of slow and distracted pedestrians on cell phones and race them along.
@UNTRESOR: If you see a guy in an executioner's hood feeding a deer into a Coinstar today just let me do my thing.
@KentWGraham: My two teenagers are very different. My son always wants money, whereas my daughter prefers the convenience of my credit card.