@Doh573: Cartoons lied to me as a child. I was lead to believe quicksand was going to be a much larger problem in life.
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@pauleggleston: I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was, like, 0mg!
@dave_cactus: ME: Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder? HER: Let me guess, he made a spectacle of himself? ME: No. He died.
@tigersgoroooar: Boy becomes Jedi, gets married, turns evil, has twins, becomes Darth Vader, complicated crap, ewoks. Boom, STAR WARS. You're welcome, girls.
@o__0Dev: If you can say "I made six figures last year," you either have a well paying job or you're the worst employee at a toy factory.