@Doh573: Cartoons lied to me as a child. I was lead to believe quicksand was going to be a much larger problem in life.
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@DeanOkay: Wish someone would invent a device that would allow me to speak instead of having to text back and forth 30 times to get my point across.
@Cheeseboy22: We reach out to meet each other half way, filling the vast void between us. We yearn to become as one." - A poem by my eyebrows
@boburnham: Life is always one step forward, two steps back...Then slide to the left...Slide to the right. CRISS CROSS!!!
@XplodingUnicorn: How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout “Heroes in a half shell.” 3) When a girl yells back “Turtle Power,” marry her.