@Doh573: Cartoons lied to me as a child. I was lead to believe quicksand was going to be a much larger problem in life.
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@mandysparklerxo: You'll never say "wrong hole" more often than when you're trying to help a toddler put on gloves.
@JustDontBugMe: I wanted to buy your kid a drum set for her birthday to annoy you but she hates drums. So instead I bought her a haunted porcelain doll that gets up and plays the drums at 3am
@Shot_Of_Cabo: (CPR class) Wife to instructor: What if my knees start to hurt? Me to instructor: See what I'm up against?
@Lisa_Laughs_: I don't care what kinda lighter you have, its fair game if its unattended. Unless its engraved, then I'll give it back for Christmas.