@ellentee: Cashier: I love your lip gloss!
Me: Thanks, it's food court teriyaki chicken glaze.
@LegoGodzilla: [first date]
GIRL: When you said "fitness freak" in your profile, this isn't what I expected
HALF-MAN/HALF-TREADMILL: It was an old photo
@Anna_Ficco1: I never make the same mistake twice. I do it five to six times, just to be sure.
@Shenanigans_luv: My kids decided to build their own LEGO nativity this year and honestly I had no idea there were so many stormtroopers at the birth of Christ
@NikiWithIssues: Stretching and yawning at the same time might not look so sexy but it looks like you're a Pokemon evolving so that's cool.
@MattchooFitz: "Matt, you just need to date the type of person that will always be there for you!"
[tries to date pizza]
[gets friend calzoned]