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@TrueTorontoGirl: Cashier: Smile!
Me: Worry about your own face.
@Try2StopME: *washing car*
Neighbor: "You washing your car?"
Me: "No. I'm watering it to see if it grows into a bus."
@iresurfaced: Sometimes I just wish people were as easy to forget as PIN numbers.
@KevinFarzad: It's nice to know that even people who are running for President are shitty at answering "What is your greatest weakness?"
@KeetPotato: "chill before serving" is the best advice I can think of if you're an angry waitress
@Peteypops13: My doctor said NO drinking for 2 weeks,then we both laughed.