@TitaniumToplass: *casually walks into a crowded Sushi Restaurant wearing a dolphin costume* *suddenly stops, looks horrified, & backs slowly out the door*
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@TheMichaelRock: If you're bored, go find someone under the age of 20 and explain beepers to them.
@causticbob: I was thrilled when this beautiful girl came up and asked me for a date. Then I realised it was just because I work at a dried fruit stand.
@fightforfood: The first person to milk a cow probably saw a baby cow nursing and was like oh yeah people do that too and I have no food I don't wanna die
@Storminika: I win arguments with cab drivers by getting out of the cab and leaving the door open.