@clindsaysway: Cat doesn't realize if he succeeds in tripping me on the way downstairs to feed him, we all die.
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@NikiWithIssues: I hate airplanes and flying. It's like someone throwing a can full of people over the ocean and hoping someone in Europe will catch it.
@MarfSalvador: 6yo: Wow you look much better already daddy! Will you be able to have the stitches out soon? Taxidermist: He will not
@lwhit_the_boss: If Jay-Z is married to Beyonce and is a multimillionaire and still has 99 problems then there ain't no hope for the rest of us