@thegayfarmerguy: Cat is hissing at nothing in the kitchen. Based on horror movies I've seen nothing good can come of this, but I'm a white guy so I'll stay.
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@StarWarsProblms: Kylo Ren: Hey, why is my paycheck so low? General Hux: Damages. Maybe you should stop throwing temper tantrums with your lightsaber.
@mattZillaaaa: [at my funeral] So young, how did he die? He ran into oncoming traffic after walking past a group of adults saying the word "bae"