@HammerFist3: Cat owner : wow my pet cat really likes you
Me: yeah well that's just because I have at least 2 sardines in my left pocket at any given time
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@thatUPSdude: Turns out if you fake your death every Monday work catches on.
@DanKCharnley: Don't make me take off my belt because then my pants would fall down and my body looks like an egg on toothpicks.
@mortimermaiden: Me: *doing magic trick* Is THIS your card? Guy: They're all my cards, give me my wallet back.
@kcmoore51: I hate when my wife says her friend at work "got flowers again today" and I have to kill that chick's husband.
@longwall26: Son, we don't play Hungry Hungry Hippos for "fun." We play it to learn how friends turn on each other in moments of desperation and scarcity
COMMENTS