@bigmacher: Cat saves kid? Please. My cat would've pushed me into traffic, stolen my identity, & would be living it up in Mexico by now.
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@Home_Halfway: Telling my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage
@Vivalazoso: The only thing keeping me from cutting eye holes in a newspaper to spy on people in the coffee shop is my constant lack of scissors.
@GensPlace: When I first went on the pill, I put on a bit of weight. Which proved to be a very effective contraceptive.