@SCbchbum: Cats always have an expression like they ordered 2 of everything on Amazon with your credit card while you were at work.
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@shadygrenade: *stands over dads casket* "Mom isn't doing well, dad." *puts hand on dad's shoulder* "You need to stop building caskets. It's creepy."
@Tylerosis: When you have this song stuck in your head, is it just your mind playing tracks on you?
@Steelers1972: The only difference between Black Friday and a zombie apocalypse is that zombies don't care if you get the last iPad Mini.