@daemonic3: Cats always land on their feet & bread always lands butter down, but spread butter on the cat's back & everyone wonders why you're naked.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: Love is courageous, but so is arm wrestling a bear and you don't see anyone suggesting that.
@knot_eye: Dear Ad Agencies, Please stop using doorbells in your TV commercials. On behalf of dog owners everywhere, Thanks!
@garrydavenport: Watson: "Holmes, why are you wrapped in a thin aluminium sheet?" Holmes: "DAMMIT, FOILED AGAIN!"
@nathandeschaine: Jurassic Park (1993): An old man with ungodly amounts of money doesn't have any common sense.