@RobbySpankme: Cats are about as useful as a football bat.
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@Northside_Mike: Saw a big girl wearing really short, shredded denim shorts. I'm going to assume those were jeans before she hulked out.
@thejayroyal: A girl drinks 4 cosmos over a span of 60 minutes. 25 mins later, she texts 3 of her besties. How many emojis will she use? Show your work.
@daemonic3: Possum 911: What's your emergency Possum: MY CHILDREN ARE ALL DEAD! Possum 911: You sure they aren't just playing? Possum: Oh yeah