@RobbySpankme: Cats are about as useful as a football bat.
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@bea_ker: Judge: The defendant is claiming you're a nazi. Is this true? Lawyer: *flustered* er no fuhrer questions your honour *courtroom gasps*
@Prof_Hinkley: What was I like in high school? You know that guy who drove a Camaro and banged all the cheerleaders? I'm the reason he passed calculus
@therealeatwood: ME: We were doing the spaghetti thing from Lady and the Tramp! Ever heard of romance? MANAGER: Sir, you cannot kiss a dog in my restaurant.