@TheRealJackDee: Cats are just dogs who've been to drama school.
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@Lisa_Laughs_: I'm just a girl, with a baseball bat, smashing my internet modem into a gazillion pieces.
@Beesthegame: [Pulled over] Sir do you know how fast you were going? MY DOG IS IN LABOR! Oh! In that case *scribbles* Here is a ticket for littering.
@Andrea__B__: Why is it that everyone hears the car alarm for a good 5 minutes before the owner does?