@ScottLinnen: Cats are just fuzzy houseplants that hate you.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@imdaintyaf: When I was a little girl dreaming about what life in my thirties might be like, I envisioned way more powerful enemies.
@themiltron: god: behold, my creatio-- people: some rocks are more important than others god: what? people: i would literally kill for the yellow rock
@myonlymizztake: I work for the government which means I have to enter 2 passwords in order to print documents that are open to the public.
@MelKassel: *night falls, the full moon rises* ME: go, please! i don't want you to see me...like...this HIM: omg what's happening ME: *asleep by 10 pm*