@MdUNH: Cats are perfect for those who want to experience the indifference and hostility of the workplace in a pet.
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@SamGrittner: Daniel Day-Lewis is so method that in preparation for the role of Abraham Lincoln in 'Lincoln' he spent ten months on the side of a penny.
@ArfMeasures: [Wife rubbing her temples after I told her how my job interview went] What...what do you mean, you "tried some breakdancing"?
@SaraESpivey: When my ex worked out of town, he would take my vibrators away from me. Said I was cheating on him w/them. He shoulda taken his brother too.
@ariscott: If you ever see a movie where a woman is depressed and she has shaved legs that movie is bullshit.