@MdUNH: Cats are perfect for those who want to experience the indifference and hostility of the workplace in a pet.
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@agathagotstoned: If you walk into a room that's empty except for a clown doll sitting in a chair at a tiny table, you're probably about to be murdered.
@iamspacegirl: [Drive-thru] CRONUS: Yes- I'll have the bucket of popcorn children Intercom: *crackling* Popcorn chicken, sir? CRONUS: omg what did I say
@jamespianka: My phone dies, freeing me from my prison. I look up at the world. Deer live in my house.
@dril: my garbage family is staging an intervention or something for me because i forgot what its called when people have a chin made out of hair