@IamEnidColeslaw: cats are the best because you can pet one while you're talking to someone and look totally evil
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@adult_mom: I turned off the TV today and made my kids play board games like it was 1955 and now I know why all of our grandparents were alcoholics
@Green_EyedMama: Watch Forrest Gump *feel inspired *toss orthotics out, go for jog *1/2 block later, keel over and die next to shit happens bumper sticker
@SteveKoehler22: Women love to say "sexy AF" or "hot AF" on Twitter .... If I'd known being in the Air Force was that hot...I'd have stayed in !