@IamEnidColeslaw: cats are the best because you can pet one while you're talking to someone and look totally evil
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@Coastiefish: This guy says he rides a bike 20 miles a day, and then runs 5 miles a day too. Yo bro, you gotta get a car.
@WilliamAder: I don't think a single person at the office noticed that I shaved off my mustache. All I heard all day long was, "Where are your pants?"
@dril: glorious crime spree after being fired from wal mart., expertly hopping fences, chugging all the seeds out of my neighbors bird feeders,
@KateWhineHall: A fun thing to do is sign your kids up for a class they're dying to take and then listen to them complain about it for the next 8 weeks.