@IamEnidColeslaw: cats are the best because you can pet one while you're talking to someone and look totally evil
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@Roxtalled: Opening a Twitter account is like opening a bag of money after you rob a bank. You're happy until shit explodes in your face.
@Book_Krazy: A cubical is a great place to reflect on all the bad decisions you've made in your life
@nerdsrockk: When a guy flirts with me I start blushing uncontrollably and I hide. Then I wait for them outside their house wearing a wedding dress.
@TheBoydP: *mom puts teen’s clean clothes at bottom of the stairs* Mom meaning: Take up stairs, put away Teen meaning: Obstacle course on the stairs!